Are you overwhelmed?

 

Photo by Megan te Boekhorst on Unsplash

Are you overwhelmed?

 “O sleep, O gentle sleep,
Nature's soft nurse, how have I frightened thee,
That thou no more will weigh my eyelids down,
And steep my senses in forgetfulness?” (Henry IV, Part II, William Shakespeare)

From 17th-century Shakespearean monologues to present-day writings on articles, blogs, and social media, the lamentations of an insomniac have not changed; sleep, where are you? It is especially frustrating after a long tiresome day when you cannot sleep properly knowing the next day is likely to be more overwhelming or demanding than the last. The cycle of work and sleep day in and day out, and at times juggling two jobs with little to no time for rest inevitably leads to persistent fatigue where a person always feels tired and anxious, even in the mornings. Couple this with an inability to fall asleep when it is time to turn in after a daunting day and within no time you will be overwhelmed by it all, not just work but life itself. 

That insomnia is so common now is another major issue. According to several studies, about 50-60% of adults worldwide suffer from insomnia, and about 10-30% of this number represents chronic insomnia. The struggle to find sleep is a common one, and it makes it impossible to clear your head for a fresh start to a new day. The fatigue and aches of one day are carried forward to the next and the cycle continues. 

I have had the misfortune of being one of the people with persistent insomnia for close to eight years now. I have always been a light sleeper, even during my college years, but the insomnia started when I began working. Restless nights became common as well as one-hour stretches of sleep interrupted by more hours awake desperately trying to close my eyes in the dark to summon sleep faster. The dread of realizing it was almost 5 AM and that it was about time to wake up with under three hours of sleep and sometimes even less than that is unmatched. Trying to find solutions is another discouraging task as you wage through articles, books, and videos that all start to sound the same. The same recommendations about changing your sleep pattern, changing your diet, putting the phone away, and on and on the list goes.    

I recently read an article on the signs that show you are overwhelmed and realized I can relate to most of these things. From insomnia, tiredness, lack of energy, anxiety, stress, poor appetite, self-isolation, and lack of motivation to a distracted mind, the symptoms seem endless. If you are like me, you have perused the entire internet in search of viable solutions only to be met by the same advisory clichés that you have already tried without any long-term success.

The issue with such mental problems is that it is not only difficult to explain to someone, even a medical professional, but the proposed solutions are usually more temporary reliefs than a sustainable lifestyle. Therefore, it seems easier to suffer in silence while researching more and more in the hope of finding someone with the magic potion. It can feel hopeless most of the time.

I have had an overwhelming couple of months trying to do too much that my physical and emotional body is pushing back. Fatigue, anxiety, stress, and isolation have become more common than I like to admit. And to make it worse my insomnia is also at an all-time high. The article offers some useful tips on how to deal with some of these issues. And while some of them read like the usual buzzwords, taking short daily breaks and exercising have been a great boost for me.

Beyond these tidbits, I find that writing poetry helps me a lot during such difficult times. I can articulate feelings of despair, anxiety, and failure in a more personal way. 

Through poetry, I feel like I can communicate anything with my mind. I can either say "I feel your anguish, I understand" or "I will try my best to improve for you." As a result, I've written more than ten poems in the past two months. I have become a more productive writer when I channel excess frustration with the day-to-day into writing. It feels cathartic to let out the burdens of the day on paper such that at the end of it all, I sleep a little bit better. It is not a perfect solution by any means, but I’ll take what works.

Writing poems has really helped me survive anxiety and mental fatigue in a way it didn't before. When I wrote poems in high school and at the university, I put a lot of focus on themes such as love, peace, social justice, and more. The Sunday Standard published three of my poems on youth unemployment in Kenya, sexual violence against women, and self-realization. I cherish these poems a lot for the confidence they gave me. I still write on these topics, since I am committed to these causes, but the biggest change now is that I also use poetry as a form of personal therapy.

I realize that while I do not have definitive solutions to deal with insomnia and the overwhelming stress and anxiety it causes, there are personal things that can maintain someone's sanity. Writing poetry is very personal for me now, and writing these lines has become a part of the solution for me.

Do you have something personal, something you naturally like doing that can fill in for the tough moments? Do you have something that can allow you to close your eyes in peace for a few hours so that tomorrow does not seem so awful before the day even begins?